Strum Fiction
by Baby.B4U
Summary: Strummerette, Everyone's favourite menber of YT goes searching for his secretary in the unchartered space of YouThink


Strum awoke from his slumber to find his secretary making him some sausage and waffles.

"What's the news, Deelicious." Said Strum.

"I have two pieces of bad news" said Deelicious "Firstly-"

"- I can see two bits of good news right here!" exclaimed Strum fondling her breasts, as per the contract.

"Ok ok! Stop!" She giggled "Firstly, GetBent has rejected your advances once more and sent back your giftbasket."

"WHAT?!" cried Strum spitting his toothpaste into the sink. "Did you email the pictures of me in costume?!"

"Yes, Sir." she answered. She didn't need to call him Sir, but she often did because he was a gentle and thorough lover.

Strum was sorry for shouting at his charge and gave her a kiss on the cheek and a bar of Galaxy. This should keep her contented until at least 2pm.

Strum sat down at the table and started to eat his sausage and waffles.

"What is the second bad thing?" he enquired.

"Strummerette Technologies Industries INC. has been attacked by the evil Lord ButtHertz and-"

Before she could finish the kitchen wall was blown square off Strum's 150 room mansion in Space and Deelicious was sucked straight out into the dark abyss. Strum ran to the smouldering hole in the mansion's hull just in time to see her be grabbed by a robotic arm on a nearby ship. He knew this was one of Lord ButtHertz' ships because he recognised that arm as the ones they used to fish for compliments in his fleet.

Also, there was a big picture of Naruto on the side of the ship in crayon.

Strum finished his breakfast which was hot and decadent, just like he liked his Secretary, and went to the 'Armdrobe' (which is a cross between a wardrobe and an armoury). He perused through his costumes before selecting the three he would most likely need. Next he would have to draft in help, but no-one on YT was as awesome as him. Aside from that, nobody would be willing to travel to The Quiz Section where the base of the ButtHertz Brigade was. Strum didn't even want to go himself.

Strum had one last wank, and strapped on his jetpack ready to save the day.

"I'm coming for you, Dee." Said Strum pressing the buttons to make the flames come out the bottom of the thing.

WHOOSH!

He was hurtling through YT at breakneck speeds. He saw a journal where someone was talking about how unfair school was.

"Oh snap, I've gotta post a GIF in there..." thought Strum "How much time do we have Robo-D?"

"My intake of information dictates it only takes 12 hours for any captor of the ButtHertz Brigade to lose their key and terminate."

Strum knew this was bad. Every member of YT had a key and if they lost it they would die. Strum didn't have a key because he was deathly allergic to the metal and thus just got by on his awesomeness.

Strum dropped the GIF of a cat with a cup on it's head, and it landed flush onto the thread. He sped off faster towards The Quiz Section.

He landed and put on his ghost disguise because he was now entering the News Section. It was paramount that he be very quiet here, because any noise could spark the inhabitants into a terrible rage. He holstered his gun too. Guns were a bad idea in The News Section, but in some parts they were a God-given right, but in some parts they were bad again. There was strange writing all over the walls and Strum couldn't understand any of it.

"Hey!" exclaimed a voice from behind him. "Who is that guy?!"

It was very important that Strum didn't get into a conversation with this person because he could be stuck in The News Section for a week.

"It's clearly a ghost!" said another voice.

"Preposterous!" scoffed the first "Ghosts don't exist!"

"I read a news story about 3 that existed!"

"What's your source?"

"I don't need a source, this is YT!"

BRILLIANT! Strum was safe The News Section had again turned on it's own. He took off his ghost cowl and scanned the environment. There was a small expanse of land in the distance. He took off jetpacking.

He landed on the ground. It was dry and untended.

"Robo-D, where are we?" Strum spoke into his wrist-communicator.

"Journals" came the reply from the communicator.

"That's impossible!" thought Strum "It's so far away from the other journals and no-one is here."

Then he saw it. A figure hunched over in the distance and it was muttering something.

"LOL LOL LOL" Strum heard as he got closer to the figure.

He now knew this was a Newbie, but also one of the most foul and unfeeling kinds of Newbie. The Necro-bumping Newbie. It had brought this thread back from 2009. Strum had been lucky this time in that he had not touched anything or he himself would have Necro-Bumped and he would have become as sick as this poor wretch was. Strum took his weapon from his holster and fired at the back of the creatures head.

A murder of Space-crows flew away as the pistol- Which happened to be the only type to be audible in space- went off.

"Don't Necro-bump, Fag..." Strum said reciting this prayer for the dying.

"COME ONE, COME ALL!" recited a voice over the loudspeaker "TO COMPETE IN 'YOU AS YOU ARE'!"

Strum was a scoundrel at these events and never competed 'as he was'. He crept backstage and stealthily put on his second costume. Shirley Temple from 'The Little Princess'. Strum had barely put the last curl into his lovely blonde hair when the contest started up. Strum did what he always did and waited until everyone was looking bored and the came out onto the stage.

"YAAAAAY!" cried every single female user on YT ever.

"I don't know about this..." said every male user on YT ever.

Needless to say, Strum won and collected his trophy.

He now only had 3 hours to save Deelicious and The Quiz Section was extremely large and had lots of parts that seemed pointless. It was impossible to get any kind of baring because every 5 minutes a new obelisk of banality exploded from the ground and jutted up messily.

Strum landed next to a Quiz called "Would you like BVB". At first he was concerned he maybe took a wrong turning because this didn't appear to be a question, but he soon saw the vessels. Strum walked around for 2 hours trying to find a way into the Brigade's Base. Then he saw it. Some of the Quiz section had spilled onto Journals in a thread entitled "X Do my quiz! X". Strum entered with his Newbie costume on and quickly knocked the ButHertz Brigadier unconsious using logic and coherent posts. He took the ID from his Skinny fit costume and pinned it to his own facsimile.

Strum found the room where Deelicious was being held and quickly freed her from the cell.

"I'm so glad your here!" cried Deelicious

"*you're" screamed Strum "What have they done to you?!"

"She is being converted into the perfect fighting machine" came a voice from behind them "Capable of ending your rule as the sexiest/funniest user on YT."

"NEVEEEER!" screamed Strum producing his pistol.

He spun around to see Lord ButtHertz who had produced a lightsaber.

Pew pew pew

Shuuum shuum

pew shuum pew

PEW!

The bullet caught ButtHertz in the helmet and it shattered down one side. He recognised this face.

"PAN! I thought you were dead!" said Strum surprised.

"No, Young Strum. I am just Lopr now." replied the helmetless villain.

"I was really hoping you'd turn out to be GetBent, and I think quite a few of the users reading this thought that was gonna happen." laughed Strum.

"I dunno" said ButtHertz/Lopr

"I'm gonna take my fine-ass secretery and get outta this dump"

"Ok"

THE END.


End file.
